Shaping Destiny
by CaliBrat
Summary: Magnus makes a choice that could forever alter the future of the Sancutary.Second in my 'Hands of Fate' series.
1. Alone Again

_**Alone Again**_

It had been one of the worst days the Sanctuary had seen for quite some time. While meeting with an Abnormal who had requested residency, they had been attacked by a band of armed men. In the shootout the Abnormal had been killed. Magnus had gone down hard when a bullet struck her thigh, tearing deep into the muscle and one of the thugs had kicked her in the side as she lay there—a mistake he never lived to regret. Kate had cut him down mercilessly, then covered Will as he got Magnus out of the line of fire. The remaining thugs fled, leaving the small group badly shaken by the senseless attack. And as if things weren't bad enough, Abby had ended her relationship with Will. All in all, as Henry would put it, a completely shitty day.

Now Magnus sat alone in her office, trying to make sense of it all. Upon their return, Kate had immediately headed for the gymnasium, where she was undoubtedly taking out her anger on the heavy bag. Helen wished she could join her, but the gunshot wound and three broken ribs she'd garnered in the fight put her out of action quite effectively. With nothing to distract her, her thoughts turned to her young protégé. Magnus wished there were something she could do to help him—and not for the first time she wondered if by bringing him into the Sanctuary had done him more harm than good. At the time it had seemed the right decision, but now she wasn't so sure. He had had a chance of real happiness with Abby, but the many hours he put in working at the Sanctuary had finally taken its toll on their relationship.

_I should let him leave _Magnus thought. _He deserves a __**real**__ life instead of this insanity that I dragged him into._

While she knew she hadn't forced Will to join the Sanctuary, Magnus felt guilty nonetheless. She had found him at a time when he had no reason to turn her down, no alternative to the life she was offering, but now…

"Dammit, Will, I'm so sorry," she said softly.


	2. Broken Angel

_A/N: I had originally intended this as an answer to a challenge, but I haven't gotten to see the series finale yet. So I just came up with my own scenario :) And for all the Abby fans, no, she and Will do not get back together-I thought she was a very sweet girl, just not right for Will, sorry!_

_**Broken Angel**_

The hour had grown quite late, but Magnus hadn't moved from the couch in her office. She knew that she should try to rest, give her body a chance to heal, but she stayed right where she was. Her own pain no longer mattered—in some ways, it seemed right. She had brought pain to those she loved, and it was only right that she should suffer for it. Magnus knew the thought was irrational, but she couldn't shake it. Time and again she had sacrificed lives for her work, and to what end? There was always another fight, another threat. And in the end, did it really make any difference at all?

"Hey."

Will had spoken softly, but Magnus nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of his voice. She had been so deeply immersed in her thoughts that she hadn't heard him enter the room. Seeing him there brought a powerful wave of guilt, but she quickly forced it back and attempted to smile.

"I thought you had gone to bed by now," she said. "It's late and it was quite a long day, you must be tired."

"Funny, I was going to say the same thing about you," Will commented, not breaking eye contact with her. He knew something was seriously wrong here and he was determined to get Magnus talking. He knew the signs of serious depression all too well and although it was unlike her, he was sure that Magnus was in a bad place tonight. She had been unusually compliant about allowing him to treat her injuries and had then retreated into her office where she had obviously been staring into space for some time. "Something's wrong."

"I'm fine, Will." Silently Magnus cursed herself for giving him her standard answer—now he would know for sure that the exact opposite was true.

"Sure, and I'm the Queen Mother," Will answered flippantly, trying to get a smile from her. When she didn't, he realized that the situation was much worse than he'd thought. At the very least he had hoped for her to acknowledge his comment, but Magnus hadn't seemed to hear him—or worse, she just didn't care. Either way, this was bad. "You're not fine, Magnus. Not even close."

"No." Magnus fought the desire to tell him exactly why, to confide in him and cry her heart out, knowing that he would never think less of her for doing so. More than anything she wanted to let him comfort her, but it seemed unfair to add to his burdens. Will had lost a great deal in his life—some of it because of her. She couldn't ask even more of him.

"Magnus. I'm here." Will kept his voice gentle even though he wanted to scream with frustration. **Why** wouldn't she let him in just once? He wanted more than anything to take away the grief that he saw too often in her eyes now, but he also knew better than to push her. Even though it was obvious she needed a friend, if he tried to force her to talk, she would completely shut him out. Tentatively, he sat down beside her. "I'll always be here."

Magnus shook her head and turned away before Will could see the tears spilling down her cheeks. She couldn't tell him how much she hurt every day, knowing that at any time all they had worked for could be torn away. How terrified she was of making an irrevocable mistake. And most of all, she didn't want him to see how afraid she was of losing **him**. Will had naturally been skeptical when she had introduced him into her world, but he had quickly embraced without question everything in it. He was so much more than a mere protégé; he had become a friend she could talk to about more than superficial topics. In many ways, Will had become her other half and now the prospect of watching helplessly as he succumbed to the ravages of time seemed more than she could bear.

Will sat quietly, allowing Magnus the chance to speak if she wanted—or to remain silent. But when the first sob escaped, he gently turned her to face him. Without a word, he pulled her into his arms, careful of her injuries, and rocked her gently. He just let her cry, stroking her hair and placing a tender kiss against the silky strands. Time lost all meaning as he offered what comfort he could. There was nothing he could say because he still didn't know what was hurting her so terribly. All he could do was hold her.


	3. Choices

_A/N: I am still working on Familiar Stranger, but this story wouldn't get out of my head, so I let my muse run with it. Also, I don't own Sanctuary or any of the characters in this story, so please don't sue me-I need my computer to finish my college degree!_

_**Choices**_

Will didn't know how long he had been holding Magnus. As her sobbing quieted, she began to shiver as if from cold and he held her closer, rubbing her back gently. Soon after she grew still, her breathing becoming deep and regular as sleep overtook her. Will decided she would probably be more comfortable and rest better in her own bed, so he rose and lifted her in his arms, planning to carry her to her room. Although he was as gentle as possible, she stirred in his arms with a whimper of pain.

"Shh, take it easy, Magnus," he said softly. "I know you're hurting, but you'll sleep better in a bed than you will on your couch. Can you hang on until we get to your room?"

"I can try." Even as she spoke, Magnus knew she couldn't make it all the way to her own rooms. Her ribs ached and burned like someone had shoved white-hot pokers into her side and every pulse beat through her leg was like a blow from a sledgehammer.

"Are you sure? Because, um…my room is closer, I could take the couch…" Will broke off, having made the decision without her answer. Magnus had gone very pale and beads of sweat stood out on her face as tears of pain filled her eyes. Will's heart broke to see her like this—had she even taken any pain medication like he had advised? If not, then by now she was in almost unbearable agony from her injuries. "Hang in there, okay? We're almost there."

Once in his room, Will laid her down on his bed, and then set about making her as comfortable as he could. Acting on a guess, he had gone earlier to the infirmary and gotten a dose of pain medication before going to her office, planning to convince her that it was medically necessary. Now he would accept no argument from her.

"Magnus, did you take the meds like I asked you to?" he asked quietly, though he was pretty sure he knew the answer. His heart sank when she shook her head. "In God's name why?"

"I…I can't tell you that, Will." No matter how hard it was, she was determined to keep the truth to herself. "I wish I could."

"Okay, here's what's gonna happen," Will said. He had had enough of this. Magnus was hurt physically, but the emotional damage made her other injuries look like a paper cut in comparison and he was determined to find out what had caused it. "First I'm going to give you this shot of pain meds, and then we're going to talk about what's going on with you. And don't say that you're fine, or try to blow it off, because we both know that you're not."

"Will, please don't…"

"Not this time." He knew she was very close to talking now. "Whatever's wrong is keeping you from thinking clearly and you're letting yourself hurt for no reason. As a friend I can't let you do that, so take the shot, okay? Then we'll talk."

"All right." Magnus knew she couldn't win this time. When Will got like this, it took a lot more energy than she had to dissuade him.

"Um, do you want something a little more comfortable to sleep in?" Will felt an embarrassed flush creeping over his cheeks as he offered her a t-shirt and sweat pants, but he knew she would be able to sleep better in them than in her work attire. "I can step out for a second…"

"Thank you, but…maybe you could just turn around?" Changing clothes was painful, but she was indeed much more comfortable than she would have been. She desperately tried to think of a way to avoid discussing her breakdown, but she also knew that Will was not going to give up until she had.

"You're going to feel a lot better soon," Will assured her as he injected the medication into her arm. "But for the life of me, I can't figure out why you wouldn't take this sooner."

"Maybe I thought it would be better not to," Magnus answered cryptically. "I didn't need something to dull my senses and put me into a fog."

"Okay, now you're freaking me out," Will countered. "Are you telling me that you _**wanted**_ to be in pain? Magnus, that makes no sense, especially coming from you."

"Will, I know you want to help—"Magnus tried one last time to dodge this conversation, but he cut her off.

"Then **talk** to me! When you first brought me here, the one thing I asked was that you be completely honest with me." When she started to speak, Will gently stopped her. "I know there are a few times when you couldn't be, but you had very good reason to keep some things to yourself. But this time I can't see any reason you would want to hurt yourself like this."

"Why does it matter?" Magnus asked sadly. "The damage is already done, there's no way to go back in time and change the outcome."

"What are you talking about?" Forget freaked out, now she was downright scaring him. "Magnus, you weren't planning to…"

"NO!" She realized that Will had misunderstood her meaning. No matter how painful living was for her, she would never consider taking her life—if for no other reason that he would blame himself for not having seen her intention. "That's not what I meant at all! It's just that some of my…decisions…could have been made a little more carefully. Perhaps if I had made better ones in the past, then our present would be very different."

"Oh, God." Will understood, but almost wished he didn't. _Survivor's guilt?_ He knew that played a part, but it wasn't the whole story. "Magnus, in the time I've known you I've seen you make impossible decisions. Maybe you could have done things differently, but how do you know that the present would be made better? For all you know, things could have turned out a hell of a lot worse!"

"Or a lot of innocent lives might have been spared," Magnus whispered. "Will I've hurt so many good people in the course of my life. At the time I thought I did what was right, but was it really?"

"And how many more have you helped?" Will asked gently. "I don't think you ever made any of those decisions lightly. I've watched you weigh all the alternatives you could see until you gave _**me**_ a migraine from watching you. And sometimes you came up with a solution that no one else had even considered to save the day. So what brought this on now?"

"And what about the lives of those I cared about?" Magnus fought against the tears that once more threatened. "I have so much to atone for, Will, so much…"

"No, hey, don't talk like that." Will gently gathered her close once more. "You've risked your life for us so many times I've lost count."

Magnus wrapped her arms around him and held on as if she'd never let go, now unable to control the tears. At last she forced herself to ask the question that had been haunting her all night. "Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you had turned down my offer?"

"What?" This was certainly the last thing he'd expected her to ask. Occasionally he _had_ wondered where he'd be had he not come to the Sanctuary, but every time he'd concluded that he'd made the right choice. He couldn't imagine being anywhere else now.

"Do you think you made a mistake in coming here?" Magnus asked softly. She hadn't wanted the painkillers for just this reason—they made her too honest sometimes. "I need to know, Will. And don't tell me what you think I want to hear. I need to know the truth."

"Yes, I have wondered sometimes—but I also know that this is where I want to be," Will answered. "Sometimes this has been the absolute craziest ride I've ever been on, but you've opened a whole new world to me. I was always so sure that there was more out there than we knew about, but to actually find out there really was and that I'm _**not**_ crazy for believing it? It's been amazing! It sounds corny, but you gave me a real purpose in life when you brought me into the Sanctuary. I wouldn't trade it for anything."

"Not even a normal life where you don't risk your life chasing monsters every day?" Magnus wanted to know.

"The real monsters are the ones that we protect our residents from," Will mused softly. "I saw the worst of the worst when I worked with law enforcement—and believe me; these guys looked like Joe Regular. Profiling them made me feel like I'd touched something contaminated. But here….I can use what I know to actually make a difference in innocent lives. Remember that first case you had me work with that boy from Russia? When we were able to help him and give him a real home it felt really good. We had actually done something that _**mattered**_. That was when I knew this was what I'd been looking for."

"I fear that this life has also caused you a great deal of heartache," Magnus whispered. She rested her head on his chest, letting the sound of his heartbeat soothe her. Will gently ran his hand over her hair, trying to find the right words to ease her pain. He wanted to tell her not to worry, that everything was fine, but he didn't want to do the opposite of what she'd asked.

"Magnus, I want you to listen to me." Will took a deep breath before continuing; trying to steady his nerves for what had to be said. "I'd be lying if I said that some things haven't hurt. But I'm not the only one who lost people I loved; we both have. But working here with you I've seen things and done things most people can only dream about. And on top of that, for the first time in my life I have a real family. I can't tell you how much that alone has meant to me; and if getting hurt now and again is the price for all I've gained, then I'm willing to pay it."

"It doesn't seem fair that you had to pay a price at all," Magnus answered. "I was happy for you when Abby came into your life—you had a chance to be truly happy with her, you know."

"I don't think I really did," Will answered. "Remember when we both had to be put into that dream state to keep us alive after we were attacked by that worm from Hollow Earth? I had the nice little house, stable job, we were expecting a kid…but the whole time it just felt wrong. It wasn't the kind of life I really wanted; if it was, then I wouldn't have tried so hard to get away from it. I'm happy _**here**_."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I really am." Will smiled down at her, and to his relief, she tried to smile back. At least he was getting through to her. He helped her to lie back down and pulled the covers over her. "Now why don't you try to get some rest, okay?"

"Don't go. Please." Magnus gently pulled him down beside her. "Stay with me."

"I meant what I said," Will answered, letting her snuggle into his arms. "I'm not going anywhere."


	4. Confessions

_**Confessions**_

The soft glow of early dawn was just beginning to light the room when Will awakened. He was a little surprised that he'd managed to sleep the night through; usually he would have only slept an hour or two before the insomnia kicked in. Magnus was still curled up beside him and he decided to wait until she woke up before getting up himself. The night before had shaken him badly because he had never realized just how much she blamed herself when things went wrong—even when nothing could have changed the outcome. _But I should have known. I've worked with her day and night for long enough now…_

"Good morning, sleepyhead." Magnus smiled a little when Will started. She had awakened before daylight when the pain medication had worn off; but as long as she kept still it was bearable and she could enjoy the comfort of his presence a little longer.

"I didn't mean to wake you up," Will said softly, glad to see the tiny smile touch her lips. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore," she admitted reluctantly. "And a bit drained. Yesterday was rather…difficult, wasn't it."

"That's kind of an understatement," Will answered. "You should probably take today off and get some rest."

"I suppose you're right—but only if you do the same." Painfully she moved closer until she was laying half on his chest, but had to move off him again as pain flared through her side. "Dammit!"

"Take it easy," Will said as he helped her lie flat. "That jerk really did a number on you. I'd have shot him myself if Kate hadn't gotten there first."

"I'd have done it myself if I hadn't dropped my gun," Magnus confessed. "And I am very glad that none of you were hurt."

"I'm just thankful you're still with us," Will told her as he sat up. After a moment he asked, "How bad is it?"

"Bad enough," Magnus answered. "I woke up a little before you did…the medication had worn off."

"You should have waked me up." Will brushed a few strands of hair back from her face. "I would have gotten you another shot."

Magnus couldn't stop the slight flush that spread over her cheeks. "I…I wanted you to stay close a little longer, Will. It's been a long time since…"

"It's ok, I understand. I really do," he said reassuringly. "I just hate to see you in pain, that's all. Let me go now and get another dose of painkiller for you. Then you won't be able to get rid of me for the rest of the day. How does that sound?"

"I'd rather you stayed here…"Magnus knew it was irrational, but she was afraid that if he left now she would wake up on the couch in her office and find that last night had been nothing more than a dream concocted by fate to torment her.

"I can be back before you even notice I'm gone." Will had seen the look in her eyes and was calculating just how quickly he could get to the infirmary and back. He didn't know why she was so afraid to let him leave, but he knew that he had to get her out of pain. "I promise I won't be long."

On impulse, Magnus pulled him down to hug him tightly. "Please hurry."

True to his word, Will returned some ten minutes later with the shot. It had taken a few minutes longer than he'd hoped because the Big Guy had been tending to some work in the infirmary. Will had briefly explained about Magnus' injuries, and Biggie had promised to check up on her later as well. When he entered his room, he was relieved to see Magnus was resting quietly but he could see that she was in considerable discomfort now. "It's pretty bad, huh?"

"Yes." Magnus knew there was no point in lying about it. She had a fairly high pain threshold, but even she had limits. "It actually wasn't so bad at first—that is until I moved."

"That's usually how it works," Will agreed as he administered the shot. "At least this will take care of the worst of it."

"Thank you," Magnus sighed. "For everything you've done."

"I didn't do much more than listen," Will shrugged. "I just wish I'd realized sooner...how come you never said anything? You knew I would be there."

"You were there—more than you know. It just felt wrong to ask even more of you." Magnus slipped her hand into his before continuing. "Will if you only knew how much you have done for all of us here…it sounds a bit cliché but I don't know how we got on without you all this time."

"Maybe you don't give yourself enough credit." Will spoke seriously with no trace of humor. "You're the one we all look to for strength. It's why you keep things bottled up until they tear you up inside and hide from all of us how much **you're** hurting. But we knew anyway."

"Will, I never meant to hurt you, please believe that." Magnus tried to sit up, but he gently held her back and lay beside her once more, carefully holding her to his side. "I…I can't really explain why…"

"Why were you so afraid?" Will interrupted quietly. When she froze and didn't answer right away, he knew he'd finally gotten to the root of the problem. _But what is she so afraid of?_ he wondered. "You know that you can tell me anything and it won't go any further, right?"

"I know that, Will, but this time there's no simple answer to it." Magnus pressed as tightly into him as she could without aggravating her already aching ribs. "God, I wish there were."

"Why don't you tell me what's wrong before you decide that it can't be fixed?" Will asked, holding her close. "No matter how tough it is, I'll stick by you and help in any way I can—and for as long as it takes."

"That's just it, Will! We don't _**have**_ the time! It's…" Magnus buried her face in his shoulder, clinging to him for dear life. How could she tell him that he didn't have 'as long as it takes', that the problem was that he would grow old and die—leaving her more alone than she'd ever been before? In the past she had at least had The Five to turn to for comfort when she lost someone, but now with the exception of Nikola, they were gone. How would she go on this time?

"You mean _**I**_ don't have the time," Will said softly. He had always known that she would, barring fatal injury or illness, that she would outlive him. Indeed, those times that he had thought she would die and leave him to carry on without her had terrified him. It had never occurred to him that he was as much a part of her life as she was of his. "Is that it?"

Magnus nodded against his shoulder, unable to speak now. Will stroked her back gently, hating that there was no real comfort that he could offer. Now more than ever he understood why she tried to remain aloof and keep from getting close to anyone. He had often wondered if she was lonely, but her work seemed to be all the companionship she really wanted. His heart ached with remorse that he had misjudged her so completely.

"I wish you had told me sooner," he whispered against her hair. "Because I may not know exactly how you feel, but I understand it. When that parasite infected you and the only way to cure you was to kill you…I can't tell you how hard that was to do."

Slowly Magnus raised her head to look him in the eye. "Is that why you never spoke about it again?"

"Yeah." Will shuddered as he remembered his desperate fight to bring her back to life. "I _**killed**_ you…I had to watch you die…and the worst—the worst—was that I didn't know if I'd be able to bring you back…"

"I hated to ask it of you," Magnus told him. "Truthfully, that was the second hardest thing I've ever had to do."

"The second hardest?" Will gently brushed away the tears that fell once more. "What was the first?"

"Asking you to die so we could stop Kali." Magnus shifted so she could rest her forehead against his. "Every day since I've asked myself what would have happened if…if you had…"

"Hey, that's all over now," Will soothed. "If we hadn't done it, then I would have died anyway—and in a hell of a lot of pain. It was a gamble, but it paid off and we saved a lot of innocent lives that day. And now…who knows, we may still find a way to make things work out. I don't know if you've noticed, but somehow we find a way of doing that pretty often."

"How do you always manage to find a silver lining to any cloud and then help the rest of us to see it?" Magnus asked him softly. She rested against him, feeling calmer than she had in ages. "But I'm afraid that this time we aren't going to win."

"Then we have to enjoy the time we have." Will pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "Magnus, I can't promise that I won't ever leave you—any more than you could promise not to leave me. What I can promise is that I will do anything and everything in my power to stay with you as long as I can. It's not the answer I wish I could give you, but…"

"It's enough, Will." Magnus snuggled into his warm embrace. A thought began forming in the back of her mind but she pushed it aside for now. That was a decision that would need a great deal more consideration.


	5. Forever

_**Forever**_

Magnus insisted on returning to work the following day, but agreed to take it easy. Even though she wasn't in as much pain as yesterday, she was still very sore and tired. After no more than a couple of hours work, she had to ask Will to help her back to her rooms once more.

"You do know that we're not going to let the Sanctuary fall apart while you get well, right?" he teased gently as he handed her a pain pill and a glass of water. "It's okay for you to rest up."

"It's hard to stay away when I know there's work to be done," Magnus answered him with a soft smile. "And I must say that you all do a wonderful job keeping things running."

"Does that mean you'll actually take a little time off to heal?" Will asked, all traces of joking gone. "As long as things remain routine, we can handle the day-to-day work. And if we get stuck we can always come ask you."

"Medically I know that I should." Magnus settled back against the pillows to buy herself a moment to think. In truth, she had slept badly the night before and the decision she had to make weighed heavily on her mind.

"Then what's stopping you?" Will asked her. "You know that you'll heal faster if you rest, so what's the problem?"

"There isn't one really," Magnus admitted. She shifted against the pillows, trying to find a more comfortable position. Unfortunately, every time she got into a position where her ribs didn't hurt, then the wound in her leg protested loudly and vice versa. Will leaned over and carefully lifted her onto his lap, letting her lean against him.

"Better?" he asked with a smile. He knew that the only thing that would really ease her discomfort was the pill he had given her, but at least he could try to distract her from the pain until the medication kicked in.

"Mm." Magnus wrapped her arms around his waist, surprised how easy it was to let him take care of her. Will somehow knew just what she needed every time and it comforted her to know that he knew her so well—it would help with the decision that she had to make.

"Hey." Will's voice was gentle and he brushed a lock of hair back from her face. She seemed like she was miles away and that her mind was dwelling on some pretty serious things. "You okay?"

"Yes." Magnus tightened her embrace, but didn't meet his gaze. "And I'm not just saying that. I…have a rather serious decision to make. One that could affect our future here. There is a lot that I need to take into account before I decide what to do, and I was just…contemplating."

"If you tell me what it is, then maybe I can help." Will stroked her hair lightly, wanting to ease her burdens in any way that he could. She always took so much upon herself, feeling that as head of the entire Sanctuary network that she had to do it all and damn the consequences. He had sensed from the beginning that what she needed most was someone she could confide in and wouldn't think her weak for having normal doubts; he had tried to give her that small comfort as much as she would allow. "After all, that's what I'm here for."

"I know, Will, and I do appreciate the offer. But at this time I cannot involve you in this decision, no matter how much I would like to." Magnus knew she had already said too much, but she didn't want him to worry that she was sinking back into the depression that had consumed her two nights ago. "I must make a preliminary decision before I can talk about it. And I must ask you to keep even this conversation to yourself for now. Please—I can't tell you how important this is to me."

"I can do that if it's what you want." Will had no idea what she meant , but whatever this was, it was a _**very**_ serious decision indeed. He would do anything in the world for her, but the pleading tone in her voice prompted him to answer, "I just need you to tell me that you're not dying."

Magnus actually laughed at that, sending a wave of relief through him. She hadn't realized until after she'd spoken how the situation had sounded. "No, no, nothing like that. It's a more…personal decision, but it could have repercussions that might affect the Sanctuary. I will tell you more soon, but I would just like a little more time to consider certain things."

"Good, because you had me a little nervous for a minute there." Will gave her a very gentle squeeze before continuing, "I'll make you a deal, okay? You lie back and rest and you can consider as much as you'd like. And when you're ready, I'll do whatever I can to help. How does that sound?"

"It sounds fine—as long as you stay here for a little while." Magnus slipped her arms around his neck as he gently laid her down. "Lie here beside me. Please?"

Will couldn't do anything but comply with her request. He believed that she was in a much better mental state than she had been, but there was a strange vulnerability in her manner that concerned him a little. Whatever this decision she had to make was, it was something extremely personal and it mattered a great deal to her. It seemed that just being there if she needed him was the best course of action for now.

He didn't know how long they lay silent, her slender body pressed against him and her arm draped across his chest, but at last she seemed to relax. Her eyes closed and he thought she had fallen asleep until she sighed like someone who has had an enormous weight lifted off them.

"I think it's time I let you in on the decision, Will." Magnus spoke quietly, hoping to hide the uncertainty she felt. "But first I must tell you that it is really yours to make, and the reason I didn't tell you sooner is that I wasn't sure if it was right to offer you this choice."

"Magnus, you're not leaving, are you?" Will felt a momentary surge of panic at her words. But she smiled up at him and caressed his cheek reassuringly.

"Of course not! I wouldn't be able to hide something like that," Magnus answered. "But I am about to offer you what may be the most difficult choice of your life—and I can only pray that I'm not causing more harm than good."

"Magnus, whatever it is, I know your heart is in the right place," Will said, hugging her a little closer and rubbing her back gently. "You ask me anything you want, and I swear it will never leave this room."

"Before I do, there is one more thing I must tell you because it is so important. If you decide to turn down the offer I'm about to make or just wait to give an answer, you will be able to change your mind later." Magnus steeled herself to continue. "But if you accept, there will be no going back. That choice is forever."

"I understand…Helen." Will kissed her cheek gently, wanting to find a way to tell her that it would all be okay. "I really do. I'm listening."

"Will, you know that there are things I haven't told you. And as you said, there have been good reasons for keeping those secrets. But there is one I haven't told anyone…for the safety of all of us." Magnus pressed as tightly into him as she could now, ignoring the white-hot pain in her ribs from the action. "After the Cabal attacked us here…and Ashley…"

"It's okay, we don't have to talk about this right now." As much as he wanted to know where this was leading, Will didn't want to cause her more pain. But Magnus shook her head.

"No, if we don't, I may never have the courage to ask again," she whispered. "The Cabal didn't get every sample of the Source blood. I kept one sample hidden from everyone. Not even Ashley knew of its existence, which is why it is still exactly where I left it. Now…I am giving it to you. What you do with it is up to you."


	6. Change

_**Change**_

"_The Cabal didn't get every sample of the Source blood. I kept one sample hidden from everyone. Not even Ashley knew of its existence, which is why it is still exactly where I left it. Now…I'm giving it to you."_

Will was completely dumbstruck by Magnus' revelation. He also understood that this was not something she had offered lightly. If he did as she had done and injected himself with the Source blood, there was no telling what the effect would be. He could become something that would jeopardize the entire Sanctuary network. But he would also be granted the same longevity it had given to the Five, allowing him to remain by her side and continue the work he had begun.

Magnus remained silent, afraid to even look at him. She couldn't begin to imagine what thoughts were going through his mind; after all, she had just told him something she had never even told her only child. And now she was offering him something that she herself had sometimes considered more of a curse than a gift. But she also felt that he had earned the right to make that choice for himself—even if her motives were not entirely altruistic. When Will had become Kali's emissary, she had secretly been glad because it meant he would be granted a long life as well, that maybe she wouldn't have to lose yet another dear friend too soon. But when the Makri was taken from him, that hope had been cruelly torn away and worse, it had nearly cost Will his life.

"What do you think will happen?" Will spoke quietly, not really expecting her to answer. There was no way she could know what the Source blood would do to him, but he needed to hear her speak, needed the comfort of her voice.

"I don't know," Magnus admitted. "I can't tell you what to do because it has to be what _**you**_ want. But I promise I will stand by your decision."

"I…I think I'd like to take you up on your offer," Will said. "I can't say that the idea doesn't scare me, but I can't help but wonder what I could become…"

"Will, you must understand that the only common gift that we were given was our long lives. That in itself can be a terrible burden. Beyond that, I couldn't even begin to guess what the outcome will be." Magnus wished she didn't have to try to talk him out of it, but she wanted to be sure he knew just what he was considering. She and the others had had absolutely no idea of the magnitude of what they were doing; at the very least, she could be sure that Will did.

"Magnus, it doesn't have to be a burden. Not if you have the right person at your side." Will knew just how much she had sometimes resented the "gift" of her long life. "And I don't necessarily mean in a romantic sense. If you have a good friend that you can talk to, immortality could be absolutely incredible. There is always something new to learn, right? I mean, can you honestly say that you have found out everything there is to know in just 160 years?"

"No, I can't." Magnus smiled up at him at last. "It seems as if no matter how much we know, there is always so much more that we don't. I just don't want you to have…regrets."

"It's been really hard for you, hasn't it?" Will asked, cupping her cheek in his hand. Not for the first time he was struck with admiration at her courage. She had injected herself with the Source blood with no idea what it would do to her; then she found the strength to continue year after year, in spite of losing those she loved most. Really, it was amazing she'd stayed sane all this time.

"It was worse after…after Ashley…" Magnus couldn't bring herself to continue. Ashley had been her reason for living and losing her had almost been unbearable.

"I know," Will told her. "I was worried that you might do something you would regret."

"I nearly did." Magnus sat up, facing away from him. She had never told anyone this before, but Will needed to know just how deeply Ashley's death had affected her. "That trip I took to Honduras…there's something I never told you or anyone else."

Will sat up and wrapped his arms around her from behind. He had always known that something had happened on her solitary trip to Central America, something that had haunted her for a long time. But he had never pressed her for details because he hadn't wanted to upset her further—and he had known that she would tell him when she was ready. He remained silent as she recounted the search for something that would allow her to age normally once more and finally die. She began to cry softly as she recounted the horrifying vision of the future she had been granted and the terrible things that had happened because of her. Without a word he held her, whispering soft reassurances as she finally let go of the grief and terror she had hidden from them all.

"It's okay now," he soothed. "I'm right here with you. It was just a bad dream."

"A bad dream that could have too easily become reality," Magnus answered, unable to face him. "I nearly brought about the destruction of everything we've worked for…"

"You were hurting." Will gently pulled her down and into his arms, wishing he could give her absolution. "The temple guardian knew what it was doing by showing you what it did. It gave you a second chance."

"And for that I am grateful," Magnus agreed. "But there are still times that I wonder if we're not fighting a losing battle."

"Casey would tell you that you weren't," Will reminded her. Before she had left, the wolfwalker had confided in him that their work was what kept her kind alive. "And so would all the others you've helped."

"Perhaps not," Magnus conceded. Tentatively she continued, "I…never wanted to hurt any of you, but…I just…I wanted to find out what it was like to grow old at last."

"Helen…it's okay. I may not have lived as long as you have, but I _**do**_ understand." Will held her closer, pondering his next words. "It hurts to lose someone that you love. There are days your heart hurts so much that you wonder how it can still beat and there are days when you wish that it would just stop because then the hurting would finally be over. But then you realize that you have people who care about you and sometimes you just have to go on for their sake."

"Is that what you learned in your training?" Magnus asked, stunned that he had touched on exactly what she had gone through. Will only smiled and gave her a very gentle squeeze.

"I learned it from you. Whenever any of us has needed you, without question you've been there." Will paused to stroke her cheek and continued, "You are our strength, Helen Magnus and we love you. You are the heart of the Sanctuary."

"As you have become mine," she told him. "You have kept me honest with others and most importantly with myself, and for that…I can't even begin to tell you what that has meant. Please understand that I'm not trying to influence your choice, only that I want you to be better informed than I was."  
>"Are you kidding? The great Helen Magnus is admitting that she jumped into a project without researching all the pros and cons first?" Will's eyes sparkled with mischief. "You know I'm never going to let you forget that."<p>

"It's not a joking matter, Will!"

"I know," Will turned her face up to his so he could look into her eyes. He knew her motives for making this offer had stemmed partly from her fears of losing anyone else, but the prospect of exploring the unknown as she had; it sparked his imagination. Who knew what abilities he would gain and how he would be able to use them in the future to aid their work? "I understand exactly what I'm getting into—and I accept the bad along with the good."

Magnus closed her eyes, feeling warm tears of relief spilling down her cheeks. When she looked back into his face, she was able to summon a genuine smile for him. "You're very courageous, Will."

"I had a good teacher."

* * *

><p>"Does it hurt much?" Will asked hesitantly. He felt a little silly asking; it made him seem like a scared little kid, but he wanted to know what to expect.<p>

"It was a little painful, as I recall," Magnus answered, squeezing his hand. "But I promise I'll be right here with you."

"Then let's do this." Will looked nervously around the lab and took a deep breath. He couldn't help being a little apprehensive and wondered if Magnus had felt the same way when she had performed this same experiment on herself. "I'm ready."

Magnus smiled at him and hoped he didn't notice that her hands were shaking slightly as she prepared the injection for him. "Last chance to change your mind."

"Uh-uh. I'm a little nervous, but this is something I want." Will reached out and gently steadied her hands for a moment. "It's gonna be okay, you'll see."

"How can you be so certain?" Magnus held onto his hands for a few moments before confessing, "Will, I'm more afraid right now than I've ever been in my life. Not for myself, but for what could happen to you. Even though I've only known you for a short time, I have come to love you very dearly and I would rather die than cause you harm…"

"Magnus, you should know that I love you with all my heart." Will reached and out hugged her to him. "I'd never willingly cause you pain, and I really believe that this is the right course. And I really do think that this is going to be the start of something good—for both of us."

"I hope so, I really hope so." Magnus let go of him and wiped away a tear that had escaped. While he lay down on the table, she quickly scrubbed her hands and pulled on a pair of latex gloves, then picked up the supplies she would need. "Ready?"

"Yeah." Will stretched out his arm and looked away as she injected the Source blood into his arm. He gasped in pain a moment later as the substance burned through him like liquid fire. True to her word, Magnus stayed at his side, holding his hand and stroking his hair until the feeling subsided. For a moment, he felt no different than he had before, but slowly he began to have difficulty seeing—like he was looking through the bottom of a coke bottle. It was a little frightening, then he figured out what was happening and removed his contacts, bringing his vision back to perfect clarity. Small details of the lab stood out to him slightly more than they had, but other than that, he perceived little change. Magnus watched silently but with growing apprehension as he sat up.

"Are you…" she trailed off, not knowing exactly how to ask.

"I can see without my contacts, and details stand out a little more than they used to," Will answered. "Do you think that could be all of it?"

"Possibly. But with more evaluation, other abilities may manifest themselves." Magnus was relieved that he had come through the experiment safely. "I'd like to keep you under observation for a day or two to make sure there are no adverse effects; but for now, congratulations, Dr. Zimmerman. It appears your experiment was a success."

"_**Our**_ experiment, Dr. Magnus," Will teased back before standing and gathering her into an exuberant hug. He quickly released her when she released and involuntary cry of pain and cursed himself for forgetting that she was still injured. "God, Magnus, I'm sorry! I…"

"It's all right." In spite of the pain Magnus favored him with a brilliant smile. "I'm just glad you're okay. You took a very big chance today."

"Yeah, but there was only one thing that really worried me about this," Will said mock-seriously.

"And what, pray tell, was that?" Magnus knew from the look in his eye that he was about to make a smart-ass remark.

"I was scared to death I'd turn out like Tesla," Will grinned wickedly.

"Oh, you!" Magnus lightly smacked his shoulder, trying to laugh in a way that wouldn't make her body scream in agony. Trust Will to find amusement in a deadly serious situation. She wrapped her arms around his neck in a warm hug and smiled as his arms closed protectively around her. "Thank you."

"Thank _**you**_," he whispered in her ear.

_***Casey is an original character from my other Sanctuary story "Familiar Stranger". And, once again, I don't own Sanctuary (not even on DVD :(_


	7. New Beginning

_**New Beginning**_

_No, I don't own Sancutary-not even a DVD copy!_

"So what happens now?" Will asked softly, still unable to believe that they had actually gone through with the experiment. "Do you have to notify anyone about this or…"

"Only if you want to," Magnus answered. "Being head of the Sanctuary network does have its advantages at times."

"I don't want to get you into trouble, Magnus," Will answered, sitting down on the edge of the lab table. "Maybe for now, the best idea is to keep this quiet. At least until we know the full extent of the…change."

"Perhaps you're right," Magnus agreed. She sat beside him and leaned against him tiredly. "This is unknown territory for both of us; even though I performed the same experiment on myself, the results will not be the same. I can't guarantee what we will face from here on out, but I can promise to stand by you no matter what."

"I can't help but wonder what else will happen," Will admitted, wrapping his arm around her and resting his cheek against her hair. "Even if no other abilities manifest, just what I have now is incredible—I thought I noticed a lot before, but now…"

"I just hope you don't come to regret this later." Magnus winced as her ribs protested once more and tried to ignore the pain burning through her. Will's enthusiastic hug had hurt more than she had let on. "Immortality can be rather painful."

"Remember what I said about having a good friend to talk to?" Will spoke gently but firmly. "I want to be here for you, Magnus. If I had known that a sample of the Source blood still existed, I would have asked for this a long time ago."

"Will you can't be serious!" Magnus looked into his eyes in disbelief. "Why would you want to…"

"Because I can't imagine what my life would be like if you hadn't brought me here," Will said quietly. "Before I came here, there was no one I could really talk to; some of my wild theories made most of the people I knew think I was crazy. When I came here and realized that I wasn't crazy….well, it meant a lot."

"I must admit, having you here has been wonderful for all of us," Magnus smiled. "You brought a new perspective to our work so much more…you've touched our lives in so many ways."

"Maybe…" Will paused to try to articulate what he felt. "Maybe we're sort of…_**meant**_ to be here. I can't really put it into words, but somehow we all managed to find each other and become a family. I know I'm not making a lot of sense here—"

"But you are." Magnus rested against him, knowing that she couldn't ignore the pain for much longer. "And you're right, we are a family here. And if you're right, that we were all meant to find each other…well, I find that a very comforting thought."

Will was about to answer when she stiffened with a soft whimper of pain. Quickly he released her and laid her down on the lab table, brushing her hair back from her face. "How bad?"

"Bad enough." Magnus heard him gasp in shock as he unbuttoned her blouse and exposed the terrible bruises over her ribs. She had seen them when she dressed earlier and counted herself extremely lucky that no internal injuries had accompanied the breaks. "I think it may look worse than it actually is, Will."

"I'm so sorry, Magnus, I should have been more careful with you." Will felt almost sick as he traced his fingers over the ugly marks, trying to be gentle. "You should let me take an X-ray, you could be bleeding internally or…"

"I'll be fine, Will." Magnus rested her hands over his to offer reassurance. "Really. I don't think there is any further damage—"

"Then humor me?" Will pleaded. "I just want to be sure. You'd do the same if our positions were reversed, wouldn't you?"

"Only because you are entirely too stubborn to admit that you're seriously injured!" Magnus exclaimed. She tried to sit up to further argue the point with him, but was forced to lie back once more.

"Kind of like you're doing now?" Will teased affectionately. He knew she was on the verge of giving in now. Then he added seriously, "I just need to know that you're okay. So how about you let me take a quick X-ray to set my mind at ease?

"Oh, so this is really for your benefit and not mine?" Magnus tried to keep a stern expression, but the mischievous twinkle in her eyes gave her away. Will just grinned back, knowing he'd won this round.

"You see, I was right. There's nothing to worry about," Magnus informed Will as they looked at the X-ray.

"Oh, sure, nothing at all—just three broken ribs." Will had felt his heart sink when he saw the film. "You were really lucky this time, Magnus. I had no idea that it was this bad."

"I know, Will. It's all right." Magnus didn't know how to comfort him this time. Will took his friends' safety very seriously and she could see that he was blaming himself for being unable to protect her this time. She leaned against him and as she'd hoped, he turned to hold her carefully. "I won't break that easily. I promise."

"Just promise you'll let me help," Will answered. "I know that you can take care of yourself most of the time, but I want to be there for you—just like you've always been there for me. And now I…I just don't want anything to happen to you."

Magnus didn't know how long she stayed silent, content to rest in the safety of his embrace. Will was right that she was reluctant to follow her own advice when it came to injuries, and it was indeed irrational to do so. As a doctor she knew just how dangerous ignoring the slightest anomaly could be in their work. And that what she needed most was time to heal. "Will?"

"I'm right here," he answered, trailing his fingers up and down her back.

"I think I need to rest now. But…" Magnus didn't know how to continue.

"But you don't want to neglect your duty?" Will finished softly. When she nodded against his shoulder, he smiled and kissed the top of her head. "You won't be. The Big Guy knows that you're hurt right now and by now he's probably got a whole rotation planned out with Henry and Kate so nothing falls behind. Everything's going to be just fine."

"Since you didn't include yourself, may I assume that my old friend has already given you your orders?" Magnus was touched that they had all stepped in before she had even known that she would need them.

"He didn't have to." Will traced the line of her cheekbone with a fingertip. "I told him that I'd take care of you. I had to be sure you were all right—and not just physically."

Magnus slid her arms around his neck and let her body sink against his, trusting his support to hold her up. "I'm glad you're here, Will."

"I'll always be here." For the first time Will realized that he could truly keep that promise. "For as long as you want."

_I'm thinking that this may be the last chapter unless I add an epilogue! Also, I'd love to see some reviews :)_


	8. Epilogue

_A/N: Just an interesting fact for you guys-I didn't actually see the season 4 ep 'The Depths' until 1/28 (and those who have seen it probably know why I included this). Also, this is the final chapter, but it will be second in a somewhat AU series of stories with Familiar Stranger being the first-not quite how I'd planned it out, but my muse is holding the stories hostage here! Thanks for reading!_

_Cali_

_**Epilogue**_

"In a day or two I'd like to do a full physical workup to compare with your prior medical records," Magnus told Will as he helped her back to her room. "It might give us some idea of how much your physiology was changed."

"Let's worry about getting you better first," Will answered. "I'm not going anywhere, you know."

"I know, and for that I'm very grateful." Magnus smiled up at him, wondering if he knew just how much his decision had meant to her. When she had first brought him into the Sanctuary, she had known that his insight and expertise would be an incredibly valuable addition to her staff; what she hadn't counted on was how quickly she would become fond of him. She had fought against letting herself get too close to anyone just to keep from being hurt, but somehow he had managed to slip past the iron walls around her heart. Will truly was the better part of her.

"So am I." Will stopped for a moment and gently pulled her close to him. "You're an amazing person, Magnus."

* * *

><p>"I've been thinking," Will said as he tucked her into bed. "We should tell the others here about today."<p>

"Are you sure, Will?" Magnus took his hands as he sat on the bed next to her.

"They have a right to know. Besides, I don't think it's something I'd be able to hide for long," Will answered. "I don't think it will be a problem with the rest of the network because they don't really know me, but Henry, Kate and the Big Guy are bound to notice something sooner or later."

"You do have a point," Magnus agreed. "But perhaps it could wait until later? I'd like to be there when you tell them."

"Sure." Will leaned down and brushed a kiss over her forehead. "Now you try to get some rest. And this time let me know when the pain medication wears off, okay?"

"Trying to turn me into a junkie?" Magnus teased sleepily. Will laughed softly in response.

"If it gets you to actually sleep, then yes," he grinned. Just as quickly the smile vanished and was replaced with concern. "Magnus, you've taken a hell of a beating over the last couple of days—both physically and emotionally. The best thing you can do for yourself now is rest."

"It all just seems so surreal, Will." Magnus gripped his hand a little tighter as if afraid he'd vanish if she let go. "I almost feel like if I go to sleep I'm going to wake up and find that all of this was only a dream. It sounds ridiculous, but..."

"So that's it," Will said softly. Very carefully he leaned down to hug her close. "It's not ridiculous at all; if anything, it's perfectly normal."

"Really?" Magnus pulled back enough to look into his face. "How can something so irrational be normal, Will?"

"Because it's not really irrational." Will let her go long enough to walk around to the other side of the bed before stretching out on top of the covers beside her. He waited until she had settled comfortably into his side before continuing. "Magnus, you have lost so much in your lifetime—more than anyone should ever have to—and you've managed to hold on to your sanity by avoiding close relationships. God knows I'd do the same if I were in your position. But you can't help giving of yourself to all of us; it's just who you are."

Magnus lay quietly in Will's arms, digesting what he had said. It was comforting that he knew her so well, and he had touched on the exact things she felt. Try as she might, she was unable to stop herself from caring for her little family and allowing them a place in her heart. No matter how much losing them would hurt, she couldn't imagine life without them.

"If it's any help, I do understand how you feel," Will spoke softly. "We just changed the rules today and it does seem unreal right now—it's going to take some time to sink in for both of us. Just remember I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?" Magnus felt her body growing heavier by the second and it was getting so damned hard to keep her eyes open…

"I promise." Will turned slightly toward her and hesitantly touched his lips to hers. "Now sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up."

* * *

><p>It was nearly a week before Magnus had recovered fully, but even she had to admit that the enforced rest had done her worlds of good. Will and the Big Guy had let her take on some light work after two days, first making her swear that she would rest anytime she felt the slightest fatigue. After seeing that Henry and Kate were more than capable of handling things, she had had fewer qualms about taking personal time to let herself heal.<p>

When she and Will had informed the rest of the staff of the results of the "experiment", they had taken the news surprisingly well. Henry had immediately tried to con Will into testing out his new perception in the latest video game he had obtained, earning himself a cuff from the Big Guy. Kate wanted to test him out in the gym, claiming that he would probably have gotten better at sparring hand to hand. Magnus agreed that the idea had merit, but that it could wait until they were sure no other abilities would manifest. And, she admitted to herself, she wasn't quite ready to share Will yet. Their relationship had changed but it hadn't and she wanted a bit more time alone with him to see where things would lead.

"So does this mean that he's going to live forever?" Kate asked Magnus, keeping her voice low.

"Very likely," Magnus answered in the same tone. "It was the one common factor that all of the Five shared after we performed the same experiment."

"Wow." Kate couldn't help but be impressed. "Will's definitely braver than I would be. Do you think you'd do it again? I mean, go through with it the first time around?"

"Yes, I believe I would," Magnus smiled. "Because if I hadn't, then I wouldn't have had the opportunity to know any of you."

"And especially Will," Kate grinned mischievously. "Are you guys…you know…"

Magnus blushed a little when she realized what Kate was asking. Although she and Will had become much closer over the past few days, they had not taken things any further. "Not at this time, no."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry. It's just that you two are really good together." Kate gave her a gentle hug and whispered, "I'm glad for you both."

"So am I Kate."

* * *

><p>Much later that night Magnus lay awake listening to the sound of Will's breathing beside her and thinking about what Kate had said.<p>

"Can't sleep?" Will asked, running a hand over her back.

"Just thinking, that's all." Magnus snuggled into his side and rested her head on his chest. "Wondering where we'll go from here."

"You mean the team or you and me?" Will wanted to know.

"Us. Our relationship is changing; into what I'm not sure yet and…" Magnus broke off, not knowing how to continue. "I'm not sure what I'm trying to say exactly."

"I don't have an answer for you this time," Will admitted. "I've never had anything quite like this before, but I can tell you that I will never knowingly do anything to hurt you. Maybe the best thing we can do is just take things one day at a time and see where fate leads."

"And if it leads us somewhere we don't like?" Magnus answered. "Will, in time you could very well come to resent having such an unnaturally long life—"

"Never." Will gently slipped a finger under her chin, silently asking her to look at him. "I meant when I said I couldn't imagine what my life would be like if I hadn't come here. You gave me a purpose and I can't wait to see what we can make happen in the years to come. And do you remember what I said about having a friend to talk to?"

"You're more than a friend Will, and I should say it more often," Magnus sighed as she rested her head on his shoulder. "I've never known what real love is until now—it's not about the romance and…other things at all."

"It's not," Will agreed. "But those can be fun too, you know."

"Cheeky." Magnus shot back at him. "But I do love you Will. No matter what may happen in years to come, please remember that."

"I'll never forget," Will promised. "I love you too."


End file.
